In January 2020, long before the difficult world situations swept through most of the world, Dante, 27, downloaded Hinge, Bumble, and Tinder. He wanted to meet people and have fun but wasn’t looking for hookups. He had over 60 dates, with varying degrees of success. He claimed that the whole dating experience nowadays is different from what it used to be. Here is why.
The Whole Dating Experience
The abundance of dating options, complete with flashing lights, blaring sounds, and zippy graphics, gives these apps the feel of a video game. Such apps engage areas of the brain that transform them into a sport. This releases endorphins with each match or text message. Because users don’t know which swipe will result in a match, apps like Tinder use a variety of ratio reward schedules. This means that your matches will be randomly distributed. It’s the same reward system used in Las Vegas slot machines and in an animal experience where researchers train pigeons to repeatedly peck at a light on the wall.
The evolution of online dating is one of the most significant events in the history of human reproduction. According to a 2017 Stanford study, approximately 40% of straight couples and 60% of same-gender couples in the US met online. Even before social-related spikes, online dating is now the most common way for American couples to meet.
Finding Love Online
Here is another story. It’s about Amanda Kusek, 33, who met her current boyfriend, Frank, on Tinder in 2015. He was her first date on the app, and she only ever had two dating app meetups! Amanda shares that she found it appealing that Frank wanted to meet her in person after a brief conversation. Kusek proposed to her boyfriend on the Connecticut balcony of her mother’s home in August 2020. Her mother even bought them a pillow that reads “We Met on Tinder.”
Hayley Quinn, a London-based dating coach, asserts that a simple shift in perspective can improve people’s online dating experiences. She says that apps reflect human behavior. For example, if you begin believing that no one wants anything genuine anymore, this will be your story. You must create your motivation to interact meaningfully with these platforms.
Instead of swiping while watching Netflix, Quinn advises her clients to dedicate a portion of their day to using dating apps and to optimize their dating profiles so that the photos are well-lit, the captions are non-generic, and the opening messages are tailored to the person they have matched with. Yes, that’s right – no Hi’s or Hey’s. Good luck!